Wow its been awhile.


I hate my sister. I have tried and tried again to be civil, kind, and patient with her, but it just isn't helping.

Here's the thing we are pretty much complete opposites. In her future she would maybe be the kind to have a career if she works hard, that, or she would be a bum on the streets addicted to drugs and beer. She also hates kids, so she would probably not have a family. Me, I love kids, I would the mom. I would throw my career away for my husband and kids. She is clique-y, fashion, follow-the-herd, I could care less about clothes, I do my own thing. She would rather be 10 mins late, I would be 10 mins early. We do share some common traits of course, but the opposite outweigh the same.

When we were kids we had a rivalry, I'm the oldest I did things first. We stole things from each other's rooms 'cause we were jealous. Except I quit and she's getting better. She stresses out my parents, makes us late everywhere, and she steals.

Well tonight I sat down to dinner. When she sat down I noticed she was wearing some bright red lip stuff. I thought about it a bit more and realized she doesn't own BRIGHT, TARGET RED lipstick, I do! So I quick went to check out my make up box and of course it's gone. I confront her and she rages "that I don't have your frikin' lipstick" (in front of my parents, whom we don't swear around I might add). Then my mom's asking "is it in a red tube 'cause then it's sitting on her desk"

When I get pissed, I get pissed. I rant, I roar, I freak out like an immature brat. But now I glare at her and sit down to eat dinner and I don't say a thing. I am just so pissed off that I have no words to express my anger to her.

It's just so... childish and I'm exhausted of it. I just want to end this and be normal sisters like my cousins and friends. Why does it happen to me, to get a horrible sister, when I try to be sisterly to her and she bites back instead? Why?

Right now what about to type just kills me to think. I hate thinking this thought but she has driven me to it:

I wish I could kill her and do my family a favor. I wouldn't cry at her funeral.

I'm kicking myself for thinking that I don't want to think it but... its just so fustrating!! I love my sister but I hate guts and I wish she would get run over. *sob*

AAAHHH why are you such a pain in the ass Hannah? Why?

I'm going to cry now.